Letter to Future Self

Dear Future Me

I am 21 and I am married, no children, no property of my own, live in a crappy house, husband and I both work part-time, I am in my jr. year of college hopefully graduating in the spring of 2011.

I have big dreams, ones that would provide children with more resources and a better education. My dream is to be a teacher, I am doing everything I can to make sure that dream comes true. However I feel I may be stressing to much to reach this goal. I want to make this world a better place and I sometimes fear I will fail. That I wont be a good teacher and wont make a difference in anyones lives. I feel that these dreams are not out of selfish motive, I really do want to bring goodness to the world to only leave this place better than the way I entered it.

Should I be worried? I know it is satan who puts those thoughts into my mind and tries to discourage me from doing my best, but in all honesty will I reach my dreams? I truly hope so.

I also sometimes worry that I wont be a good mother. I want my children to have the same desires to make this world a better place, to be productive, active citizens of whatever country they choose. I want them to wait to have sex and save their hearts for the one God has for them and let God be the ruler of their lives. I fear that I wont accomplish this and my children will end up in jail and hate me. I plan on being a great mother who does nothing but love and provide them with all the resources I can for a bright future. Will I be a great mother? Will my children love and adore me but even more do I love and adore my children? Am I able to have children?

Will Darrell finish his education and be offered a full-time position at a church? Will he make a difference in his youth lives?

Future self I hope you are still happy and full of joy. I hope you are living your life to the fullest and are enjoying ever moment of your life. I hope you love Darrell just as much as I do now if not more. I hope you are loving your job and not regretting your choice to be a teacher, because remember how hard you worked. Remember all the doubts and comments made towards you. How your teachers wanted to hold you back and how when you were in 8th grade you were finally considered avearge in reading and you balled your eyes out because you had worked so hard for years. You did it. You reached your dreams and I hope you have no regrets.
I hope you have no enemies and tons of friends. I hope my fab 4 are still your very best friends in the whole world and if not I hope you are still on good terms and talk every so often and remember the good old days. My hope for you is that you still love life to the fullest and your relationships are the best they can be. I hope mom and dad are grandparents and phillip and katherine are happy aunts and uncles and parents of their own. I hope my biological parents are still in your life and you talk often.

I hope your are the happiest you can possibly be, live to the fullest.

Keep the faith, be true to yourself. Love God, love your husband, love your kids, family and friends. Love.

Your Past Self